How do I get started?

When you call, we will discuss your concerns. If it seems appropriate, we will set up an orientation session for you where you can learn more about mediation and to decide whether this process is the way you and your partner wish to use to work out your separation or divorce.

What is divorce mediation?

Divorce is a crisis that threatens the well-being of everyone involved. Divorce Mediation is a process available to help divorcing couples voluntarily work through disagreements in order to fulfill their responsibilities to each other and their family. They are assisted in working out a mutual agreement on the issues which must be resolved in any divorce: parenting, support, and the division of property.

Who is mediation for?

Mediation is for:

• Couples who have made a decision to divorce.
• Couples who may not have decided about a divorce, but who want a separation.
• Couples with post decree issues or disputes.

Mediation is not only for couples who agree; it is a process designed to help any couple regardless of existing differences.

How does it work?

You will meet together in our office to work out the major decisions raised by the decision to divorce. We will help identify the issues you need to resolve, and help guide you through the decision-making process toward agreements that really work for both of you.

We will then draft a memorandum of agreement for your review, after which it is given to your attorneys for legal implementation. The agreement becomes the basis for an uncontested divorce.

What are the benefits of mediated divorce?

• Enables individuals to emerge from a divorce with self-respect intact.
• Protects family relationships.
• Establishes a foundation for continued co-parenting.
• Benefits children, by reducing conflict.
• Focuses on the present and future -- not the past.
• Strengthens commitment to an agreement.
• Is Time limited and convenient.
• Offers an Informal context.
• Avoids public disclosure of personal matters, because it is confidential,
• Parties retain control over process,
• Controls costs, financially and emotionally, of the divorce process.
• Is empowering.
• Respects self-determination.

What are the steps involved?

First, the process is explained. Then you gather the data needed for the decisions you will make. You identify the matters you need to decide. Then you take the time to consider available options to resolve these issues. If you are able to settle these matters, we draft a memorandum which incorporates the agreements you have reached.

What issues are dealt with?

Clients can choose to talk about a wide range of concerns. But typically, couples in divorce need to resolve:

• Parenting Arrangements
• Child Support - Click here for Child Support Calculator
• A Division of Property
• Spousal maintenance

How long does it take?

Mediation varies in length depending on the complexity of the issues involved and the readiness of the couple. Many people complete the process in only a month or two. Mediation is time-limited and, unlike the court process, does not drag on indefinitely.

But I've already been to an attorney.

That's not a problem. People frequently want to consult an attorney when a separation or divorce seems in the cards. Mediation is not a substitute for the services of an attorney. Your mediator may be an attorney, but will not represent or give legal advice to you or your spouse. You will be encouraged to consult with your attorney - except you will be using that attorney in a different way, as advisor rather than adversary. The difference in that deciding to use mediation is that there you now make the decisions that will affect your life - with counsel!

Do we need an attorney?

Choosing mediation does not mean that you will not have the services of an attorney. We will urge you to seek legal counsel throughout the mediation process. While the decisions in mediation are made by you, they should be informed decisions. If you do not have an attorney, we can help you find one.

Who are the mediators ? Click Here for bio's of the mediators

We are professionally trained mediators who have come to the conclusion that there is a better way than the adversarial system provides for people to end their marriage.

We also have established working relations with area attorneys, financial planners, and other specialists who are often needed during the divorce process.

Why choose mediation?

Choosing mediation is choosing to take charge of your life at a point where lots of things seem to be spinning out of control. In the face of great uncertainty, it is choosing to set a direction and deciding to close the door of the marriage gently rather than slam it shut!

Mediation avoids much of the damaging consequences of adversarial divorces. Most complex divorces go on for years. Prolonged divorces deplete assets, entail expensive professional services, appraisals and legal fees, interrupt business, and interfere with parties' opportunities for personal growth and their desire to get on with their lives.

Although this process involves the services of both mediators and attorneys, the costs of a mediated divorce are typically less than conventional divorce. That's because you, and not your attorneys, are doing the talking.

When both parties agree to work together toward a common goal , costs - including time, money, and emotional costs - are considerably less than those of a typical contested divorce.

Are there cases that shouldn't be in mediation?

Mediation works in many more situations than you might imagine. However, in situations where parties are unable to assert their needs or do not feel free to speak their mind without fear of consequences, mediation may not be appropriate.

I'm very angry now! (We can't even talk to each other!)

It would be unusual if you weren't angry! Divorce is, unavoidably, a highly disruptive experience. Mediation is not just for people who are already cooperating. Mediation is often most helpful when you and your partner are having trouble talking on your own.

The question is not how you feel now, but where you want to go. Do you want to end up in a no-holds-barred battle, or do you want to get to some end to this? Would you like to find some resolution that would allow you to move on to the rest of your life, without bitterness or regrets? If so, we can help you get there.

How will this affect our children? What can we do to help them?

The latest research on divorce suggests that it is not so much that you are getting divorced that will affect your children as much as how you go about this divorce. Ongoing conflict between you and your spouse is what is most damaging to your children. And the long-term research on divorce suggests that while divorce causes distress in children, it need not cause disorder. Click here or the title below to see some of the results about parenting and children in divorce from the most comprehensive study of divorce in America:

What should we tell our children?

You don't want your children to be surprised by a sudden change. You don't want your children to not feel safe to ask you about their concerns and fears. Keeping trust with them is what is most important. Your children need to know that whatever is happening between you as spouses, you can reassure them that you two will be there as parents for them. Hopefully, what you communicate to your children you can communicate together as parents. It's not easy, but you can discuss your divorce with your children.

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